All Indians know the phrase “Unity in diversity” and know what it stands for.
Well.. I am real surprised by this phrase, because it certainly doesn’t hold good! As a matter of fact, Indians are the least united group – starting from that 7/11 guy across the road who would, at the slightest provocation from a fellow Indian, shoot him down with the shotgun under his desk, to more important people in one’s daily life! (For people not in US: 7/11 is a grocery/convenience store; many are owned by Indians).
I was in this Indian restaurant last week (and I swear that is the last time I will visit an Indian restaurant in the US), and the owner was all smiles to customers, and walked around every table and made sure things were good. Well.. almost all tables – I mean the tables with no Indians. We took a table, and he put up a grouchy face. I ordered a milkshake (2$), and he stated in a baritone – “Credit card minimum order 3$”. Things got funnier next – there was a small container of chutney in our table. Quite soon, a table of Iranians ran out of chutney and asked for some more. Our grouchy Indian friend picked the one from our table and gave it to the Iranians! What manners! I mean.. you got to ask, at least!!
Things got more interesting when a gentleman from his city in India turned up at the restaurant.This gentleman asked our Indian friend where he is from. He turned up a grouchier-than-usual face and replied “Stone and Fort Lowell”, which is an intersection in Tucson! This guy was taken aback and told him he is from Bandra, a beautiful suburb of Mumbai. Our friend was least impressed and imposed the next question “Any orders, sir?” – yeah someone comes into your restaurant to chat with the owner. This poor guy asked for some stuff which was unfortunately less than 3$. Our friend barked the same dialogue again – “Credit card minimum order 3$”.
Reminds me of the Russel Peters’ quote – “Difference between terrorists and Indians – Terrorists hate the US, Indians hate themselves”